Is this the end of an addiction?

Over the years, I have learnt not to make New Year resolutions, let’s face it, nearly 90% fall by the way side well within a month.  I can remember resolving never to smoke again. That lasted while there was a packet of cigarettes close to hand but as many smokers will recognise, once I had thrown them in the bin, I would find the urge to smoke almost uncontrollable. I have found myself climbing in the car and heading to the supermarket or petrol station in the middle of the night just to get a fix.

I don´t smoke a lot, I enjoy a cigarette after a meal and I do smoke more when I am in the company of others.  I think it is a psychological craving that is triggered by being in certain locations, bars and pubs or other smokers rather than the real need for nicotine.  Or perhaps it is a nervous reaction and the need to have something to do with my hands.

In the middle of December when OH asked how many cigarettes I had, I checked in my bedside cabinet and realised only 5 packets (100) I said with the run up to Christmas and New Year and going out more than usual, I needed to pick up 200.  I never thought for one moment that here we are at the start of March and I still have that pack of 200 unopened and FOUR packs of the original five still untouched.

 Tenerife, smoking

I have not made a conscious effort to stop smoking, in fact I still enjoy it, but for some unknown reason I am just not bothering.  I have been out with friends on an evening for a drink and smoked.  Yet once I have returned home the urge to have a cigarette has just not happened.  I am not going to say I want to give up, because I don’t.  When I have a cigarette I enjoy it but if the gaps between one cigarette and the next are getting longer so be it, who am I to complain.  I will just accept the benefits.

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2 Responses to Is this the end of an addiction?

  1. tenerifenell says:

    As an ex-smoker who found it incredibly hard to give up over 10 years ago, I congratulate you on being able to cut down naturally in this way. I think most ex-smokers would agree that it’d actually be quite nice to be able to have the odd cigarette but most of us couldn’t touch even one for fear of starting again. I certainly couldn’t trust myself and I’d hate to go through the pain of stopping all over again.

    • Since taking the photo for the article I now have 3 packets of Respect unopened and 1 half full. I also found an unopened packet of menthol while tidying up, think they must have belonged to someone who came to stay so I have had a couple of those too. I am out this evening with friends who smoke, I may succumb unless it is a chilly evening !

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