Over the years, I have learnt not to make New Year resolutions, let’s face it, nearly 90% fall by the way side well within a month. I can remember resolving never to smoke again. That lasted while there was a packet of cigarettes close to hand but as many smokers will recognise, once I had thrown them in the bin, I would find the urge to smoke almost uncontrollable. I have found myself climbing in the car and heading to the supermarket or petrol station in the middle of the night just to get a fix.
I don´t smoke a lot, I enjoy a cigarette after a meal and I do smoke more when I am in the company of others. I think it is a psychological craving that is triggered by being in certain locations, bars and pubs or other smokers rather than the real need for nicotine. Or perhaps it is a nervous reaction and the need to have something to do with my hands.
In the middle of December when OH asked how many cigarettes I had, I checked in my bedside cabinet and realised only 5 packets (100) I said with the run up to Christmas and New Year and going out more than usual, I needed to pick up 200. I never thought for one moment that here we are at the start of March and I still have that pack of 200 unopened and FOUR packs of the original five still untouched.
I have not made a conscious effort to stop smoking, in fact I still enjoy it, but for some unknown reason I am just not bothering. I have been out with friends on an evening for a drink and smoked. Yet once I have returned home the urge to have a cigarette has just not happened. I am not going to say I want to give up, because I don’t. When I have a cigarette I enjoy it but if the gaps between one cigarette and the next are getting longer so be it, who am I to complain. I will just accept the benefits.