Vampires in Tenerife

Most people think vampires don’t exist, well that is tosh because I have proof they do and they gorge themselves on human blood and carry out this god awful practice at unsociable hours.

I thought my home was secure, it was after all covered in nets and I wouldn´t willingly invite anyone in who I didn’t know.  But last night I got what was coming to me for being complacent and I got it good!

At midnight I turned off the light and fell asleep only to be woken by what I thought were voices.  The window was open, so perhaps it was just the melody of insects and other night creatures singing. Then in a nerve destroying moment it suddenly struck me, the voices emanated from a nightly get-together of repulsive monstrosities.

Zing-zing-a-zzzz!” shrieked the relentless voice in the darkness. Bzzzzzzzzzz went the conversation at the side of my bed. I felt a small tickle on my arm and at the speed of light the repugnant creature was injecting my skin.  I had been attacked by a mosquito Aaaahhhh!  Stung!  The horror of that bitter moment!

I fought not to scratch the affected area knowing it would only get worse but it was driving me crazy.  By the time I turned on the light it had sucked my blood and caused my skin to itch and I found a bulging swelling on my elbow and hand.  I had become a mosquito burrito and they were looking upon me as their meal ticket and having a feast.

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I swore and searched all over the ceiling and walls until I finally spotted in the corner a single female elegantly lolling and enjoying her success.  She wasn´t satisfied and it wasn´t long before I heard a light buzzing noise move swiftly near my ears, she was waiting for second helpings!

It was me against the mosquito and I swear she looked me in the eye as I screamed “You sucked my blood; you will pay with your life.”  I tried to splat her by slapping my hands against my body. It must have looked ridiculous to anyone watching as if I was dancing around the bedroom jumping up and down and hitting myself. I felt powerless but I would not let my enemy escape before I could deliver the fatal blow.  Frustrated I slapped my forehead and suddenly realised I had killed the mossie.  The way I hear it, only pregnant female mosquitoes drink blood. I was elated, if only all the females could be killed – if there weren’t any females then they would be extinct

Finally, exhausted and ready for sleep, I went to the window to close it and outside on my mossie net was a family of mosquitoes standing quietly swing their antennas. Then a voice shrieked, “You killed our bread-winner – we are here for revenge!”

I was flabbergasted. I can’t believe those blood sucking scavengers got me to the point I could hear them talking.


WARNING: If you see anyone looking like these vampires above – run like hell!!

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One Response to Vampires in Tenerife

  1. ceejayblue says:

    Well that’s spooky! LOL! Only this morning I’ve been on line and ordered my antihistamines to deal with my prickly heat and insect bites when I’m away and I also ordered another couple of deet wristbands! Also going to smother myself in Avon Skin So Soft dry oil spray which helps keep mozzies away and saves me having to wear a lot of perfume, which seems to attract them! Before we go out at night I will spray the apartment with fly killer and hope that zaps them before we get home and none sneak in through the door with us when we come back!

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